posted Monday, December 1st 2008 by
None of the Above
They aren’t just the greatest. They’re the most greatest.
5. Lichkiller Gatling Ballista
The ballista is strictly speaking a giant crossbow used for siege warfare, although I’m not entirely sure if mediaeval engineers ever managed to construct a rapid-fire version outside of videogames. The killer is the ammunition – huge bolts, each tipped with a mace of disruption.
4. Keen Vorpal Scimitar, third edition
D&D3.5′s vorpal sword decapitates on a natural 20, and fourth edition’s equivalent merely deals open-ended bonus damage. In early third edition, however, vorpal decapitated on any critical, a natural 18-20 on a scimitar. What’s more, the Keen property stacked with the Improved Critical feat to triple the weapon’s threat range to 12-20, chopping off heads with 45% of successful attacks. Ouch.
3. Bag of Holding & Portable Hole
It’s an ancient rule that extradimensional spaces don’t play nicely with each other, and 22,500 gold pieces buys you your very own time-space shredding kit. Placing the hole into the bag has the specific effect of destroying both and pulling any creatures within ten foot radius into the Astral Plane. Among the traits of this plane are that all spells are quickened, poison doesn’t function, and everyone can fly. Alternatively, the payload can be delivered by summoned monster, who will have no qualms about sucking your foes out of reality for instant victory.
2. Head of Vecna
You’ve heard of the Hand and Eye of Vecna, artifacts that replace the wearer’s own body parts and bestow terrible power. One party of adventurers discovered an even greater relic – the entire Head of Vecna. A fight broke out over who would be allowed to cut off their own head to receive Vecna’s power. At no point did any of them discover that the head was a fake, set up by a cleverer adventuring party who returned later to loot four decapitated bodies.
1. Peasant Railgun
Here’s the idea. You line up three thousand or so peasants, and give a spear to the one at the back. The rest ready an action to take the spear from the man behind and pass it to the man in front. Since the spear makes it fifteen thousand feet in the space of one round, in other words six seconds, a thrower at the end of the line receives it moving at a truly lethal velocity in excess of mach 2. Better hope he rolls high.