Amusing Orcish Anecdote
posted Tuesday, July 31st 2007 by
None of the Above
From 4chan’s traditional game’s board comes this amusing orcish anecdote:
Reminds me of a friend’s character from a D&D game a while back. He was a half-orc barbarian who was absolutely convinced that he was a wizard. He had an arsenal of “spells” such as “Blind” (kicking dirt in the enemy’s face), “Inside-Out Man” (a slash to the enemy’s gut), and “Invisible Head” (decapitation).
Best of all was his familiar, who’s name was “Rock”. Rock was just an ordinary rock…but not to him. It was sort of an explanation for his Wisdom score, though, which was actually very high. His Intelligence, not so much.
I believe he ended up heroically sacrificing himself one day, though, by swallowing several vials of Oil of Impact, setting himself on fire, and hugging a Mind Flayer. He had explained that it was his best but most dangerous magic, “Me Bomb”.
Comments
Tom Barta
July 2nd, 2008
That’s awesome. I would use that as an NPC, but I already showed my players…
It actually seems like something that would fit with an aggressive Bard-type, as well. Arcane Spell Failure? Hah! I’ll show you the somatic component for “Invisible Head”!
brady
January 30th, 2009
this is quite possibly the greatest thing i have ever heard of. *thumbs up*
Brady
January 30th, 2009
This is really awesome I love it but it was really creepy when I got on and found out I had already posted or my evil same named twin or some such(and on the same day too) anyways Awesome Gm post.
eddie
January 30th, 2009
this is so funny, next time we play, i may have to use this idea.
Brady
January 30th, 2009
When I said got on I really meant stumbled
rules
January 30th, 2009
Rules. one. and. two.
facepalm.jpg
RULES?
January 30th, 2009
/TG/ IS NOT /B/
SHUT UP.
RuLeS!
January 30th, 2009
4CHAN HAS BOARDS OTHER THAN /B/!!!???!?!!1?
You must surely be mistaken.
That One Former Chantard
January 31st, 2009
1. Gee, it sure is links to dead threads around here! Next time try an archive.
2. Rules 1 and 2 only apply to raids
3. What is “/B/” and “/TG/”? i’ve heard of “/b/” and “/tg/”, but not “/B/” or “/TG/”
3½. CAPS LOCK MAY BE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL, BUT EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER.
4. ????
5. Profit!
Jonathan Drain
January 31st, 2009
>>65217
B& for mod sass
Hazeblazer
January 31st, 2009
So an Orc with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. Bartender says “Hey whered you get that thing?” the parrot says “Durotar! they got ‘em all over!”
Locke
January 31st, 2009
LOL@Hazeblazer && TOFC
Locke
January 31st, 2009
brady- i’m sure everyone here stumbled it, I did
Miller
January 31st, 2009
*smacks Hazeblazer with a newspaper on the nose* No! …. No!
Fred
February 1st, 2009
*kicks miller in the cunt* NO
Bull
February 1st, 2009
*casts invisible head on Fred*
Fried Rice
February 1st, 2009
*ads “shit” to the end of “Bull’s” name* xD
Bullshit
February 1st, 2009
That’s not very nice. What’d I ever do to you? Goddamn chink food.
Siobhan
February 2nd, 2009
Brilliant!
Rules 1 and 2
February 3rd, 2009
apply fucking everywhere. Don’t fucking forget it.
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
Treios
February 4th, 2009
Bloody great funny thing is its totaly orc
and with there mantality it would make sense to them in that way
infornography
February 11th, 2009
This reminds me of a character I made once. He was a rogue who didn’t believe in magic, but pretended to be a wizard in order to get court mage or court advisory positions at castles. He believed that all mages were charlatans and he was just upholding that proud tradition.
In order to evoke his magic he learned pyrotechnics. He had roman candles and fireworks up the sleeves of his asbestos cloak and he would yell out spell names as he fired them off.
One time his cart with all of his… spell components was trapped in an enemy portcullis and the party had to escape without it. He shed a tear, stood up, turned toward his trusty cart and yelled “FIREBALL!” as he launched a particularly powerful firework right at it. The resulting explosion demolished half the keep and made the enemy soldiers take it seriously when he then yelled “Death Arrows!” and fired a roman candle in their direction. This bought the party the time they needed to beat a hasty retreat.
That was a great session. Though replenishing his components was pretty rough.
Toki
February 12th, 2009
I really hates you guys.
Rafael
March 11th, 2009
SNORE