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Lord of the Rings: Dwarves Deserve Better

posted Saturday, December 2nd 2006 by Jonathan Drain
None of the Above

Having finally sat down to watch the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings trilogy on DVD – back to back, in what can only be described as an epic event that spanned the entire day, I have come to three conclusions.

  • Wizards in D&D need staves.
  • Gandalf is badass.
  • Peter Jackson and J. R. R. Tolkien are tree-hugging, elf-humping, dwarf-hating racists.

I’m certainly not the first person to say this, but where were all the dwarves in that movie? It’s acceptable that Gimli doesn’t necessarily get a lot of screen time if that’s what the movie needed, but I draw the line when Legolas beat him in a drinking contest. He’s a dwarf. He’s bearded and stoic. Dwarves are awesome. Clearly, Legolas cheated with some kind of elf magic.

You know where all the dwarves went? I think Peter Jackson knew how awesome dwarves were, and were afraid that putting in too many dwarves would overshadow all the handsome tree-hugging elves. Sure, let the human heroes take centre-stage while Gimli wades staunchly through seven orcs a minute with the barest glance of camera time.

As anyone knows, dwarves are the best race in D&D. A bonus to Constitution in for a penalty to Charisma, a resistance to magic and poison, and a speed penalty that irrelevant if you would wear heavy armour anyway. It’s not as versatile as a bonus feat, but I think we all know that dwarves are basically excellent and deserve more respect. Here’s to seeing more of them in The Hobbit!

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